Meddling Medication

I, well my doctor, recently made a change to some of the prescriptions that I take and it got me thinking about psychiatric medications again. It’s usually something that I think about for a few days, it kind of bothers me a little, but then it eventually fades away until next time. So, I thought this would be a good forum to voice some of my thoughts and maybe get some of your opinions too.

I’ve come up against this topic many times in recent months. Sometimes it’s just a fleeting thought when I take my pills in the morning. Other times it lingers and I do some heavy thinking on the subject. But it always feels like the cycle is the same. If you’ve ever taken medications for anxiety, depression, or any other mental illness, you might be familiar with the feeling. You reach for the bottle of pills to take your daily dose and a pang of uncertainty crosses your mind. Should I really be taking these? What does it mean that I take medicine that messes with my brain? I guess the core of it is that something about taking psychiatric drugs feels wrong. I have asthma. Every morning I take two puffs of my inhaler before brushing my teeth, and then I move on to a day of easy breathing. I have no problems taking the medicine, and I simply see it as a way to fix a basic problem. No big deal. But when I reach for the anti-depressants (some anti-depressants are standard prescriptions for OCD) I get this lingering, questioning uncertainty.

Now, logically, I feel like there shouldn’t be any difference. OCD is a physical, biological disorder just like asthma. If I can take a prescription for one, I should be able to for the other as well. But somehow, the knowledge that the medicine will affect the way I think changes the picture. I find that my line of thinking follows a lot of what our society has to say about mental illness. Somehow, it just seems different. Again, I know it shouldn’t be, and I wish my gut instincts would reflect that. But for some reason, they don’t.

If I take medication that changes how I think or what I think about or how I feel, am I somehow messing with who I am? If I automatically think in a way that is somehow deficient, should I change that at the risk of changing something more central about myself? I feel like this is the point at which my therapist would step in and ask me to identify the distortions in my thinking, but I don’t want to be objective today. I want to wonder about why my instincts tell me to back away from something that ultimately makes me better and healthier. Why is that I am ok with medicine messing with all the parts of my body except for my brain? I think it’s because it’s so hard to see a dividing line between my brain and my mind. Are they one in the same? Western ideology certainly says so. “I think, therefore I am.” But is it true? Maybe I should explore some eastern psychology on the topic.

Thank you for listening to my rant. I’d love to hear what you think about the topic, whether you speak from experience or just personal opinion!

White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts - Book Review

In White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts, Daniel Wegner explores the topics of consciousness, obsession, suppression, and mental control. This is an insightful read for anyone interested in general psychology, not just those suffering from OCD or some other mental disorder (although I did find much of the material particularly applicable to OCD). If you’ve ever been plagued by a disturbing image, had trouble dieting, or even just had a song stuck in your head, this book has something to say to you.

The core of Wegner’s theory is that we are plagued by obsessive thoughts, that is, we have unwanted thoughts that keep coming back to us, because we actively try to suppress them. Attempting to suppress a thought actually increases the frequency with which it will reoccur later. Clearly this has a lot to do with what happens with OCD. The core of the disorder is that we get stuck on a thought (the obsessive part), primarily a disturbing or distressing one, and can’t get away from it no matter how hard we try (the compulsive part). But this is relevant for everyone. If you’ve ever tried to quit drinking or smoking, or even lose weight, you are familiar with this cycle. You set strict rules for yourself and promise to stick to them. But, inevitably, you are reminded of alcohol, nicotine, or carbs wherever you go. You see someone eating a delicious-looking bowl of pasta, or you go to a party and everyone is drinking and lighting up. Even when there appears to be no obvious trigger, you feel the craving. Arguably, there is a lot of chemical craving going on too, but the chemicals are just as active in your brain and nervous system. It seems like no matter how hard you try, the reminders are just too much and you eventually give in.

This is where White Bears comes into play. Wegner argues, with convincing evidence, that when this happens, we shouldn’t keep looking for distractions or put all our energies into suppressing the unwanted thought, which is what we naturally tend to do. Instead, we should sit with the thought and let ourselves habituate, or get used to it. The book gets its title from a famous series of experiments you might have heard of. If you tell someone not to think about a white bear, what are they going to do? Think about white bears of course. The act of trying to suppress a thought automatically brings that thought to mind. It is the same with any unwanted thought. When we stop telling ourselves to not think about something, we give our minds room to let go of the thought naturally. Rather than constantly being on guard against the thought, we can discard it in time like a child discards a toy they got tired of. This theory bares striking resemblance to the theories about mindfulness, which promotes the same concept of sitting with our thoughts in order to let go of them.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone suffering from OCD or any other type of anxiety disorder, as well as anyone else who just has an interest in this type of cognitive psychology. It well definitely make you think twice about the way you think               !