20 Unexpected Lessons

I stumbled upon this page and I think it has a lot to say to those with mental illnesses too, not just physical ones. I’ve listed some of the more poignant ones below.

“2. Laughing is really important. It brings us back to the moment and reminds us to exhale, and to use up less of our moments worrying about the future or grieving over the past. But it’s okay to cry sometimes. That’s important too.”

One of the best decisions I made in treating my OCD was to join a local support group. Sure it’s a great place to share stories and get advice but, most importantly, it’s a place to laugh at yourself with others who understand what you’re going through. If you’re struggling with any kind of mental illness, I highly suggest looking up support groups in your area.

“5. If you want something to work, the first thing that you have to do is believe in it. The second step is to trust it, and the third is to commit to it until what you believed would happen becomes a truth.”

Nothing truer could be said about my time in therapy. It takes 100% commitment if you want to make change in your life. This also ties in with number 6:

“6. A doctor, a teacher, a mentor or a healer can show you how to do it, but they can’t do it for you. You have to meet your guide halfway. It’s up to you to do the work.”

There’s only so much you can be talked at. Eventually you have to start taking on responsibility for what you’re hearing and actually apply it in your life.

“14. Stop looking for the “right answer.” Pause for a moment, breathe, and let it come to you. The further you go searching for what may not be yours, the farther you get from what’s actually meant for you.”

The right answer is what’s right for you, not for anybody else. Sit with it and let what feels right come to you. Don’t hold yourself to other people’s definitions of what’s right or good.

“19. Asking the question “Why me?” just proves to the Universe that you haven’t learned the answer yet, and nothing goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.”

The truest way to find happiness, I believe, is to be content with the lot you’ve been given. Don’t just accept what’s happening to you. Find a way to see the good in it and let it change you for the better.

A Sense of Control

Today I was clicking through the pages of Psychology Today when I came across this short but thought-provoking article entitled “The Importance of Feeling in Control.” It discusses our intense need for a sense of control and the impact it can have on our physical and mental health. Most interestingly, however, it discusses the way in which we find control in times of turmoil, even if none actually exists.

In reading this article I turned to think of a recent change in my life. It would be an understatement to say that my life is a little depressing at the moment. I am currently unemployed and about to have surgery that will keep me immobile for a month. That means that the relatively small pool of activities I have to occupy my time is about to be severely diminished by my inability to get around after surgery. But for the past couple of days I have taken to making lists of things to do with my time. I’m not actually doing anything that I wasn’t doing before – reading various books, watching movies, taking trips to the library and grocery store – but I have found that by making lists and checking items off as I go through the day, I am much happier with how I’m spending my time. I feel more productive and less like I’m wasting away in unemployment, even if only a little. This illusion of control seems to mirror what is discussed in this article.

In a time of great depression and emotional turmoil for me, I am finding some security in tricking myself into a sense of controlled productivity.

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand I am very grateful for the recent peak in my moods. Such a simple fix to a horrendous problem is surely to be praised! On the other hand, I am always suspicious of illusions, particularly of the kinds we play on ourselves. Isn’t it true that I AM being hugely unproductive at this time? Don’t I deserve to be reminded that I want to work and spend my days in a worthwhile manner? It seems like a slippery slope to me. One minute I’m happy at having watched a movie today and the next I’m content to ignore more important tasks in favor of mindless ones. As long as I get to check it off the list, right?

What are your thoughts on tricking ourselves to feel happier? Do we deserve to give ourselves a break? Or should we suffer through in the knowledge that it will bring better times once things sort themselves out? How does a sense of control play out in your mental life? Leave me a comment and share your ideas!